It’s Monday, lunchtime, you’ve just had science. Your weekend was terrible and the new week hasn’t started much better. You feel like you need to cry. Tears start to brew. You try to hold them back, you are a man… a male, masculine. You can’t be seen crying, People will make fun of you, say you’re not a man, say that real men don’t cry. You can’t be subject to that, you’ll never live that down. You decide to find a teacher, a teacher you can talk to, a teacher that can help you feel better. You go to find her… And then you realise, HER? People will find that weird, I mean, she is older, maternal figure or not, she is a lot older, and you being your teenage age may be seen by peers in an inappropriate way. You’ll be branded as a pervert, a deviant, a bit grotesque or any number of names that relate, worthy of the alias or not. She isn’t your mother, she is your teacher. And that may just be an abstract term for wanting a maternal figure of comfort but a reputation is still a reputation. So what do you do when you are in need?
Although it also goes the other way. Same situation, same day same feeling, but you’re a female. All of the masculinity feelings go out the window, but for some reason you still don’t want to be seen crying by your peers. So you go and find a teacher, your favourite teacher, or a coach, your favourite coach. This time the adult is male. Once again the young teenager of 16 is alone with an adult of the opposite sex seeking out comfort, In todays current society, this is seen as unacceptable and the male is scrutinised as a pervert and seen as inappropriate. Once again it is the males life and career that is analysed, dissected and depending on the situation, ended. But why should the thoughts of a male/female greetings always come back to sex and rape? Why is it that male adults have to deny a female student comfort just so he can preserve his career? And why is it that the male is always the perpetrator?
So what exactly is the perspective against men in this modern world? How does this Relate to the other gender and sex in general? How do men treat women and is this appropriate?
And lastly, how can it change?
Lets start with sex and rape. Rape is a very current issue and occurrence that happens more than most people care to admit. And to make things worse 69% of sexual assault victims are between the ages of 12 and 34.
But does this means that the males are the issue? I think that in most situations, both parties are drunk or have drunk in the near past so they aren’t thinking straight or waiting for a yes but I do actually think that it is the male that makes this issue worse by committing it.
Personally where have ethics gone? What goes through a males mind to treat a women like current males do? What goes through a man to make them rape a women? How has it gone from opening doors for and protecting women to beating them to a pulp and violating their physical privacy? Where did it all go?
I think males need to stop thinking of females as a sex object every time a new one walks in the door of the bar or club they are in. They need to start thinking of them as someone to get to know. Someone to fall in love with. Someone to spend their life with. I guess this thought comes from movies though. In movies the main characters often meet in a public place, they then go to one persons place and proceed to make ‘love’ for the night. Due to this it as now become a pastime for a man to take a women home or vice versa for this act so men now think they can take anyone home after provided with a yes or no.
Drugs don’t help this epidemic either. Date rape is a common occurrence in the current era. Someone, most likely the female, will, after a few drinks while getting to know someone on a “date”, leave the table for some reason such as a toilet break. Its at this time when the other partner, most likely male, will add a drug into the females drink so when they leave they become a range of things from sleepy to delusional. This easily accessible range of drugs and the access to online dating programs such tinder, e-harmony and RSVP don’t help stop this deadly deed.
Now males who read this might think I am some weird guy behind a computer typing about nothing and blaming males for things that aren’t entirely their fault. But that isn’t what I am intending to do.. Although I am blaming a little bit. What I am doing is addressing these issues to the portion of men who have these abstract and illogical thoughts about the opposite gender and carry out the acts above. You are the people who are ruining womens lives. You are people who are causing some women to ignore human touch for the rest of your lives. But most of all you are the people who are giving males as a gender a bad reputation to women. Women think that most men will hurt them, rape them. Some people even go as far as hating most men for their supposed “indecencies” to society.
But to those women. I think they need to find a new perspective. Most males are nice, outgoing respectful people. They won’t hurt you, they won’t try and do unwanted things to you. They will be nice to you. It is once again the small minority of idiots that ruin everyone else’s honour and stature to the rest of the world.
So why, where has it gone. The Ethics, the respect, the dignity. Why should you have to go out and molest a woman. What goes through your head and you do that. But after that, why should all males be seen as concupiscent, disrespectful and violent due to the minority.
I think males need to change the way they act towards women. Instead of hitting them, violating them and trying to control them males need to change the approach to a more gentle and/or respectful tone. We should start simple, hold doors for a girl, say hello and ask how they are, Help them with some homework, and even buy them a drink. Then get serious, do what they want to do when you go out in public, don’t be controlling, buy them chocolates and food. Then make sure you get a yes. And if you don’t get a yes and least stop for after a no.
I know that one badly written blog post wont make a world changing difference but I really hope, for the sake of many women and men around the world, that people at least try.
So I ask one more time, Why the stereotypes?
But to the minority I ask, why do you do this?
And why doesnt it change?